Our holiday was a really good break and a good deal better than I imagined
it would be. Flew (by aeroplane) from Bristol on the Sunday, getting to
Arrecife in daylight so able to enjoy the strange scenery from the bus on
Day One. The hotel was immense but tolerably so. We were in an outlying
block with a sea view and not much noise. It had beds, A/C, patio and a bit
of garden, telly, not much else. The complex had seven swimming pools, a
gym, therapy-spa, several restaurants, a 'piano bar' (someone sneaked a
saxophone in but he escaped with only minor injuries and a caution from the
Guardia Civil), entertainments hall, (Butlins style but okay)
Lots of naked breasts, which oddly, I somewhat resent. (God, am I getting old,
but I don't like having to avert my gaze because some bloody exhibitionist
wants to flaunt her leathery skin. Some truly beautiful girls too; I often thought of Robert.) Generally relaxed on the first day though we had an
abortive attempt to do the '20 minute' walk to Playa Blanca (It actually
took about that long to run it - I know; I did it) I had already had a walk
along in the opposite direction to the local lighthouse but there were no
ship-wrecks and no people drowning, in fact nothing to laugh at, at all.
Second morning Lynne and I walked into Playa Blanca to pick up our hire car, a
Fiat Ulysses. This is an immense car, not quite a mini-bus. It had
electric side doors (great fun!) and bald tyres. Lynne did her strut and
got it changed, the hire car bloke not being a match for my minder. The
replacement had pretty naff tyres too but was deemed safe, rain not being
forecast before 2027.
First outing was from Playa Blanca to El Golfo where a blooming great volcano has
gone BANG! and made a hole in the ground which the ocean has obligingly
filled with briny stuff. Lynne bought a bit of volcano which has been
brought home in the hope that it will have dust-repellent properties.
On from El Golfo we stopped at the National Park which is a sort of volcano
museum. You have to go round it in a bus. Rather them than me, a VERY
challenging drive and one I would rather not be attempting in a Fiat the
size of the Titanic. Stunning scenery, looking like a place where a lot of rock has
got very hot and crashed down from a great height - which it had. Watched
them cooking meat over a five foot deep hole in the ground - the heat is
enough to blister your skin just a foot below the surface - and some mush
poured a bucket of water down a hole in the ground which went off like a
blunderbuss nearly taking poor Pedro's head with it. (I called him 'some
mush'. Maybe he was 'some geyser'...) A very impressive display without
the benefit of a piece of blue paper to light before retiring. Across the
way someone was chucking hay into a similar hole in the ground which was
self-igniting. You have to ask yourself how they dug these holes. Maybe
Pat and Mick did it with their shovels. So far Jess and Will, the children
of our friend Jackie, had played computer games and been totally bored
throughout. What would it take to raise any interest? I wonder if they
would be excited by being on the next shuttle launch...
We went on a bit of a trek the next day, firstly to Cesar Manrique's house
which is a load of rooms built in holes in the ground (more blooming holes,
these ones somewhat cooler luckily!) He was an artist contemporary with
Pablo Picasso and, as far as I can see, nearly as potty. Smashing house but
rather tellingly he moved out and changed its use to a convention centre and
gallery for potty artists so maybe it was a bit of a 'mare to live in.
Then we went to Jameos del Agua which is a natural cave in the lava which
contains a very rare type of blind cave crab. Manrique had been there first
and turned the place into a strange auditorium and café etc. Good, very
restful - unless you are Jess and Will who found it a bit...boring.
Went into Playa Blanca by car that evening, a very hot version of Burnham on
Sea but without as many parking spaces, which in an ocean tanker named Fiat
was a bit of a challenge.
I took the car back next day (Thursday) at the crack of dawn and ran back, the only running I did all holiday despite my very best intentions. Slobbed for a while and then came over all energetic and went looking for some scuba action...
CLICK here for diving posting
Well that gets us to Friday...and to be honest the time was rattling by and
a routine had built up of get up, scoff up, lie down, get up for more scoff,
lie down, swim, lie down, scoff up, lie down, swim, scoff up, sleep.
The scoffing was amazing. Jackie had wanted to go for 'all-inclusive'
catering, something I greeted somewhat coolly as I had visions of a vast
greedy orgy of Dutch and German gluttons being paid for by... us. I have to
admit that we gave as good as we got, or rather we scoffed in most impressive
style and put on a stone each. I just hope the Germans were impressed as we
picked up four puddings each at every meal. For once Jess and Will were
paying it their full attention. Beer was 'free' as was wine etc though they
were of average quality to be kind. The range and quality of food was very
good and even Lynne, so hard to cater for normally, was generally very
pleased with her food and smiled several times until she realised we were
watching her!
The heat was the other notable thing. It got hotter and hotter with a
breeze blowing from the general direction of the Moroccan Sahara, maybe
cooling a tad over the Atlantic before passing over the Rubicon Desert on
Lanzarote, a huge field of almost jet black rock. Even then you'll be
amazed to hear the temperature reached 48 degrees one day. Ouch. None of
us really felt good in that heat. You could only get away from it in the
pool and to add to the discomfort we realised that the A/C was playing up
and we were not cooling down a lot at night. Eventually even the mosquitoes
gave up trying to fly, but not before giving one or two of us a nasty nip,
especially Jackie, who is pretty tasty.
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