“There he is!” exclaimed my Dad, pointing to a grey smudge on the screen. It is the earliest recollection I have of the sport of running, the first time I realised that running wasn’t just something you did to get away from the psychotic kids at school. (I did a lot of running at that school.)
Dad’s friend Hugh, a fellow member of his cycling club, doubled as a runner when he wasn’t testing the local ale. He must have been quite good as we were watching him ‘on the telly’ in some event at Crystal Palace. Dad knew it was Hugh because a man called David Coleman had just read his name out, though how he could have told one runner from another I have no idea as it seemed that all the runners wore grey. Also the grass was grey, the sky was grey (It was south London in the sixties; what did you expect?) and the spectators were grey. These were the days of ‘black and white’ television, a misnomer if ever there was one – nothing on the TV was black or white just grey, and very, very fuzzy. A 405 lines TV makes the screen on the back of your mobile phone look like HD, just as if the picture had been painted by Turner on one of his gloomier days.
We’d only just got our first TV so it must have been about 1963. I still remember Dad tuning the thing and adjusting the aerial while I sat glued to the image of the ITV test-card and my dinner got increasingly cold. By the time he had a good picture the food was just about frigid.
The test-card in those days was a photograph of the Houses of Parliament, an omen if ever there was one. Little did I know that I would be limping pathetically through the same scene less than 43 years later, trying to look dignified despite being beaten hollow by four pantomime rhinos and about 60 eccentrics who had all had the same hilarious notion to run the London Marathon dressed as Sponge Bob Square Pants.
I say it was the same scene, but I was disappointed to discover in 2007 that the barrage balloons had been removed from around Parliament.
The TV came just in time for us to see such varied but earth changing events as JFK’s failure to duck in time in Dallas and also the baffling reports of one Valentina Tereshkova becoming the first woman in space. Presumably the cosmonauts had given up on their plan to fit Soyuz craft with a reverse gear. Maybe parking isn’t an issue when you are the only person up there. Much was made of this event, which followed the entry into space of the presumably bold but barking mad Yuri Gagarin who obviously hadn’t learned much from the fate of Laika, the first dog in space. On quiet nights in the Ukraine you can still hear him yipping as he passes over his kennel every 80 minutes. Obviously Yuri Gagarin paid extra and got the return ticket.
I can’t recall how Hugh got on in his televised running race but he wasn’t invited to run in the Tokyo Olympics with the big boys, so maybe not too good then. Or maybe the other runners were a bit suspicious of those odd shoes he ran in, the ones with the nails sticking out of the bottoms of them. Those shoes must have been popular on the bus to Crystal Palace …
Also in those early years I remember being taken to watch a race, ‘Cyclists versus Harriers’, which was held annually on common land on the North Downs. Such was the mud that most years the harriers would win. It was surprising what those spiked shoes could do to a bike tyre.
We moved to Westwood near Bradford on Avon in 1965. Handy, as I was able to start reccying the Over The Hills course even before the current organiser was born. At the same time I was given my first bicycle and I set about exploring the locality on blissfully traffic free roads. The main danger came from the local Royal Enfield factory which periodically sent out its maddest employees to test the products. It was perfectly normal to be overtaken by some nutter doing about 90 on a gleaming new motorcycle, just out on its maiden run before being fitted with boring stuff like brakes.
My new school was a bit of a shock. No longer necessary to dodge the scarier boys at playtime, my main run of the week was chasing the cows up to one end of the field so that we could have our weekly games lesson. This was football in a minefield of cow-pats.
I don’t know why we chased the cows off. If we’d let the cows stay we’d have had enough players for a decent game, and at least half of them would have been better players than me.
With a field like that, cricket wasn’t played at our school. (Besides, have you seen a Friesian catch a ball? – blooming hopeless!) By the time I got to Trowbridge High School in 1968 I had developed into one of those kids who gets picked last for teams. (I thought I was quite good holding out until the end each week!) I tolerated the team games stoically every week but when you aren’t very good you get nagged at a lot and I wasn’t keen to sample married life at 12.
Rugby was the best of the games I suffered; it seemed to involve lots of anarchic milling about and I could go all afternoon without holding the ball. Best of all was the look of pleasure on my Mum’s face when I went home with such clean kit. If I found myself in possession of the ball I found that the best course of action was to run like hell, especially as all those psychotic kids seemed to have found me at last and were hell-bent on flattening me.
Eventually the games teacher must have spotted that if I couldn’t play, at least I could run away. One of my school reports of the era says “Ian shows potential as a middle distance runner.” Of course no-one thought to mention this to me at the time. Maybe they knew that they couldn’t count on the Second XV to show up on race days to chase me round the 1500 metres.
We had a rather unusual road run which I used to actually enjoy, a circuit of about 4km. (The kilometre hadn’t actually been invented yet. We made do with miles) A group of us used to run the circuit against the clock and I made such good progress that by the time I was fifteen I had become almost feeble, and not many of us were that good!
Of course it wasn’t long before a new teacher spotted how much pleasure we derived from our running, so just to spur us on and make the whole experience more satisfying, he made us run the circuit bare-foot. Initially I was horrified, having visions of cuts and blisters and, even worse, having to walk like you do on the beach. You know; as if the Home Guard had sprinkled anti-personnel carpet tacks amongst the shingle. Surprisingly though, running barefoot was a doddle. It really didn’t hurt, and the savings in shoe leather have appealed to the economist in me to this day. Our times round the circuit were no slower, rising to the dizzy heights of ‘pathetic’ on a good day.
I don’t think I ran again until I was an apprentice and we were pressed into taking part in the Civil Service sports day. In those days I had ‘Wally’ tattoed across my forehead, or so it seemed, as I was deemed the most suitable lad to run the 5000 metres. I was fit as I had been riding a lot of bike races at the time. As a tactic I had learned that you need to be at the front around the first corner. This tactic is not as suitable for long running races. For a start, a race around an oval track is one long corner so my starting effort was a bit of a long one, but not having run for about three years left me vulnerable to the more experienced runners who started at the correct speed, ran the middle of the event at the correct speed and, more importantly, reached the finish line without a spell of lying down gasping. DNF.
When I started working at the university I was still obsessed with cycle-racing but gradually began to run with work-mates, running in our lunch-hour. (Another misnomer - lunch-hour!) The university is well placed for runners, with plenty of footpaths and tracks both on Claverton Down and in the surrounding countryside. Most runs require a climb back up to the campus and I soon realised that off-road running, preferably as hilly as possible, was a great aid to getting some sleep in the afternoons.
Then one fateful day we all entered a running race. It was organised by a club called ‘Chippenham Harriers’. I was doomed…
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